Their stars were not a fault to mine.

When you think about the most inspirational love stories, they are never the simple ones. Rather, they are often tragedies: the ones that make your heart feel heavy and your eyes shed too many tears. If you’re like me, when you see couples in public, you often wonder what their story is. I wonder about their hardships, their fondest memories, and their plans for the future. The hardest thing about writing your love story is not being able to read ahead. Weather the romantic tale lasts forever or for a moment, it is always beautiful. It can inspire you and enlighten your perspective. In my case, I found this in a novel.

YOU GUESS IT, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. From the moment the movie trailer was released, I could not rest. I watched the video, countless times, with tears streaming down my face. Needless to say, I am extremely attached to this book; I have a story behind it. As many of you already know, the book is about two, teenage cancer patients (Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters) that meet at a support group. Hazel is struggling with stage four, thyroid cancer that spread to her lungs while Augustus is an amputee, in remission, due to osteosarcoma. Along with them, Augustus’ good friend, Isaac, also attends the support group; he has cancer in his eye, from a young age, and eventually goes blind. Augustus and Hazel helplessly fall in love with the time that the stars have given them.

I trust that words, even made up, are capable of changing someone’s life, when they are precisely placed in a fashion that tells a remarkable story. It makes you feel like words know you better than yourself. I do believe that The Fault in Our Stars, not only changed my life, but helped me during the most difficult part. When I was diagnosed with my brain tumor, last May, it was the most devastating news I have ever received. I felt emotions, from pain, grief, and anger, to acceptance and gratification. I struggled with the simple fact that I will never be the same as I used to; my life is transformed. It was really hard to find others who would recognize how I felt, when I couldn’t even find myself. But, Hazel and Augustus, their stars were not a fault to mine.

Since I was very limited on my lifestyle, my days consisted of waking up at 7 am, watching the news with a cup of coffee and raisin bran, showering, putting on a cute outfit (even though I was going to the hospital, it made me happy), going to Children’s to receive radiation, and napping. So, since I couldn’t do much, it was the perfect time to read a book; you know it, The Fault in Our Stars by John Green. It was as if this book entered my life when I needed it the most.

Reading this book made me feel like, for once in a long time, I belonged somewhere. I no longer felt like I fit in with the average, teenage demographic. I was so disgusted by the complaints of kids my age because they are so minuscule and selfish (Not all, but most). I was sick of hearing kids rant about their petty relationship issues, need for “more money”, and how they “can’t party this weekend”. I became so irate that others had the power to control what goes wrong with them, as they participate in unlawful activities; meanwhile, there are kids I’ve met who didn’t get a chance. No one could quite relate, but by reading this book, I was able to make parallels to my life and my emotions.

Hazel Grace, the narrator of the book, showed me that, although it can be hard living with this circumstance, you cannot live in the fear of making yourself a burden upon others. I watched my tracks everywhere I went, making sure they didn’t step on someone else’s feet by accident. I didn’t want to be “the girl with the brain tumor” who got sympathy and special treatment everywhere she went. It was hard to be in the spotlight for such a dark reason. I just wanted to be the normal me; I wasn’t and will never be. Hazel put barriers to those around her, but overcame them as she started to feel that she is not the only one who has these struggles. Like her, I started going more places, doing more things, despite the fact that I was the elephant in the room.

Augustus Waters showed me that true love will out stand even the most desperate of times. He expressed to Hazel that she is more than a diagnosis, a ticking time bomb, and a sympathy case; she is extraordinary, beautiful, and worthy of the life that she dreams of. This allowed me to relate with my boyfriend exactly. Most kids our age are frightened by this type of situation and don’t know how to handle it. Many people brought to my attention that he is just a young man with no commitment. He could have simply walked out at any moment, but he didn’t. He was at my doorstep almost every, single day when I was awfully sick. He took me to the emergency room, held my hair back (when I couldn’t keep anything down), held my arm when I walked (because I didn't have any balance), and drove me to a radiation treatment. He even prepared our own “prom” for my birthday since we missed it: a dress, incline ride, and dinner at a Mt. Washington restaurant. He was unbelievably strong for me and I will never be able to show him how thankful I am.  

Augustus’ best friend, Isaac, showed me that true friends are not blind to the reality and will not let support become too much to handle (even though he was blind). Isaac was there for Augustus and Hazel in the best and worst of measures. They knew there were times to just be quiet together, even though they knew what the other was thinking. They also knew when to talk about it: when to give advice, make them laugh, or even just ask them, “Are you okay?” Although it is difficult for people to find the things to say, sometimes being there and listening is efficient enough. Now I know, with loyalty and love, those who are meant to be in your life will always prevail.

One day, after radiation, I went up to 9C for the clinic visit with my oncologist. The waiting room was packed with children, mostly younger than me, that I felt extreme grief for. I placed myself at the small arts and crafts table with the kids and did a project with them. That was the highlight of my morning. Little did I know, something else was about to occur. When it was my turn go, I stopped in the kitchenette area a couple doors down from my oncologist’s room. They have drinks, snacks, etc; It’s Children’s, they really have everything. I normally don’t go in there, but for some reason the chocolate milk in the fridge was calling my name. Right after I closed the fridge, I saw something that struck my eye, and I dropped my chocolate milk! I called my parents to come see the flyer on the bulletin board because I couldn't believe it. The book, that I felt so connected with, was filming their movie in Pittsburgh and they were looking for teenagers with cancer-like experiences to be a part of the movie. It was like this one big sign that this book was made for me to read. Although I was too late on the offer, the fact itself that kids from my Children’s got the opportunity to do this, was incredible!

Their story showed me that, although my doctors did not know if I had cancer, they did not know if the treatment would work, they don’t know if it could grow back, they don’t know if I will ever be in tumor “remission”… I can appreciate my time that I have been given. Whether it is longer or shorter than expected, I have experienced, love and support that most people dream of having. Like Hazel says in the book, “But, Gus, my love, I cannot tell you how thankful I am for our little infinity. I wouldn't trade it for the world. You gave me a forever within the numbered days, and I'm grateful.” 

So, now that the movie is released, so many TFIOS followers have become giddy over the glamorized, yet genuine story of Hazel Grace and Augustus Waters. I can honestly say that the movie adaptation fulfilled every anticipation that I had for this masterpiece, written by the phenomenal John Green. I frequently found myself between distress in the form of mascara-melting tears and delight in the form of eye-squinting cheer.Nothing can truly prepare you for the experience that The Fault in Our Stars will present to you (especially if you have related experiences in your life). But, regardless of the impossible praise that this laudable book deserves, I shall do my finest to prepare you for it's heart wrenching yet warming excellence!
1. If you had not already read the book, do so now, or else you will be in oblivion to the treasures that the book entails.
2. You must bring tissues with you, possibly anywhere from one to ten boxes; just prepare yourself for a Niagara fall of tears.
3. In addition to tissues, be sure to bring with you a good friend...one that is comfortable with holding your hand or even wallowing and whimpering with you.
4. If you are one who prefers to wear makeup, either skip it, or bring remover wipes! This movie will make even "waterproof mascara" melt.
5. Face the fact that the sound of your own tears will overlap this masterpiece; you have no choice but the watch it, maybe two or twenty times more!

I've always dreamed of seeing my name in print!

While I was on my whirlwind experience in LA, I had something quite special happen to me. My home-town newspaper reached out to me, and wanted to do a feature on my Make-a-Wish experience! I am so blessed to have gotten the chance to share my story to the Pittsburgh Post Gazette readers. It was wonderfully written by a lovely lady; she did a phenomenal job with bringing my journey to life! I have always dreamed of seeing my name in print; hopefully one day, it will be my words!

Read the full article here!





One of the most incredible parts about my trip was that I was given the opportunity to blog with Glamour Magazine. YES, GLAMOUR! Being a writer for a fashion magazine is but a dream to me. Hopefully, in the future, I can call myself an official fashion journalist; But in the meantime, I will live up my few minutes of fame. Check out the five trends from L.A.'s Runway that you can wear right now! Here!

I am so blessed, and I can't wait to see what the future has in store! Thank you to every one who has supported me along the way! I now feel that I am more than my diagnosis; I am an evolving story, one that is far from the ending.

Who ever said that the genie can only give you three wishes?

Before even stepping foot into the wonderful west-coast, I had so many mini wishes take place in Pittsburgh. Being that I have never escaped the freezing tundra of western Pennsylvania, I had no idea what to expect! Thanks to a very good friend of mine, who knows everybody who is anybody in Pittsburgh, I was able to meet some incredible individuals in the fashion world! They were each so willing to hear my story and become a part of it.

Sabika jewelry is a family owned company by Karin and Conrad Mayr; along with their children, Alexandra and Kerstin. Their business, located in Robinson township, features handmade pieces from Austria and Germany. Each design is unique in its own because of the different stones and metals. When wearing these exquisite treasures, I feel like attending a dazzling, roof-top dinner while sipping on Perrier and snacking on the finest fromage. 

This family affair is a production from women, for women. They really focus on each glamorous gal who chooses to embody the elegance of Sabika. In my case, I was more than spoiled with this luxury. When they heard that I was attending LA fashion week, they generously offered to give me jewelery so I could be red-carpet ready! I was enchanted to meet this fashionable family, learn the Sabika story, and enjoy a spree at Anthropologie! 

So that would have been enough, right? When you give control to the man upstairs, things evolve immensely. The second meeting I had was with Kiya Tomlin and Sandra (Sandra Cadavid). I was invited to Kiya's studio and we enjoyed a lovely afternoon filled with snacks, sparkling water, and style. I am so thankful to have met these charming ladies! Kiya gifted me with a dress to wear while I am in LA and Sandra accessorized me with delicate designs! Their pieces made me feel as if I could fit in with the lala land luxury.

  

Last, but not least, I had the opportunity to go to Emy Mack's studio in Pittsburgh. She is a local shoe designer that uses all Italian leather. Her heart-stopping heels, fabulous flats, luxurious loafers, and beautiful boots will make you swoon. Her collections are elegant and trendy; Emy truly has a great sole. She generously gave me a beautiful pair of gun-metal flats that will match any outfit! 

I give each of these lovely ladies my utmost graditude. It is a privledge to know them and an honor to wear their designs! Look out; I'm bringing Pittaburgh to LA!!!

A foundation near and dear to my heart

After my diagnosis, when I was referred to be a wish kid, I felt this overwhelming need to give back. Coming from the Wish-kid perspective, it can be quite difficult to be in the spotlight for such a dark reason. Although I, and many other sick children, strive for the sense of normality, there is an undeniable need for some faith to fall back on. That is exactly what Make-a-Wish resembles. This foundation is a symbol of hope for a better tomorrow and a reminder of what the child is fighting for. This organization does no cease to amaze me as it develops unique wishes for children with life threatening circumstances. I knew that if I had the chance to fund for Make-a-Wish, I would take full advantage of the opportunity.

Pretty soon, everything began to fall into place. I teamed up with Froggy Radio station to host a benefit concert, featuring Gary Allan, Jon Pardi, and Kelliegh Bannen. Their support with my project and my story, overwhelmed me immensely. I had the chance to do a radio interview with Jeremy, aka Danger, about the event and why the proceeds were going to Make-a-Wish. It was incredible. After growing up listening to his voice on the radio, I was in his studio, while he interviewed ME. They did a wonderful job with getting the word out about the cause!

Jeremy, aka Danger, and I at the Froggy studio!

Tuesday, February 11th; the actual event day. The concert took place at Latitude 40 with a first come, first serve admission and a $10.00 donation to receive a ticket. In addition to the admission fee, Froggy had some other things up their sleeves. Gary Allan agreed to donate ALL of the proceeds to Make-a-Wish! That's not it! Before the doors even opened, we raised $2,500 by auctioning off two pairs of meet-and-greet and VIP passes! I was amazed. My goal of granting a wish was about to come true.

All together, the show was incredible. Gary Allan, Jon Pardi, and Kelliegh Bannen all joined the stage at one time to play a sort of "front porch acoustic" vibe. The audience was packed with fans who knew all the words, supporters of Make-a-Wish, and my lovely family members/friends. I had the privilege to meet each of the artists and thank them for their help with my fundraiser. In total, we raised a whopping amount of over $9,200!!! I aimed to raise enough for one wish, but the fact that I was able to raise enough for two wishes, surpassed any wish of mine! Thank you so much to every one who made this possible!

The waiting line before the show started!

My dear friends from radiation: Kieran, my little warrior, Abby, Kaden, and Mailee.

My two favorite men: my boyfriend and father.

The lovely Kelliegh Bannen. She was truly a charm and took time to hear my story.

I had the privilege of meeting the amazing, Gary Allan.

This man is so inspirational; I couldn't have done this without him.

Meeting Gary Allan with my daddio!

The handsome, talented Jon Pardi.

Mr. Dreamy, himself.

Some of my beautiful supporters: My teachers, sister, and Danger.

My beautiful aunts and cousin (plus my dad photo bombing).

 

Remy, my Make-a-Wish volunteer. I would be nothing without her!

Without even having my Make-A-Wish trip yet, I contributed to two additional wishes. All of the individuals that were involved with this process were so willing and cooperative. I can't wait to see what is in store for my Make-a-Wish trip, to LA Fashion Week!

My story thus far...

Hello! I think it is only cordial to introduce myself. My name is Francesca. I am an impassioned writer, fashion enthusiast, and proud Make-a-Wish kid/granter. Most of my time is spent swooning over the latest, designer trends, shopping at my local thrift store, or supporting an awful online-shopping habit. I also enjoy cats, coffee, and car rides, among a lot of other irrelevant things. I would say that my style is vintage-inspired elegance with a dash of boho chic. Many of my fashion icons include: Taylor Swift, Vanessa Hudgens, Zoey Dechanel, Demi Lovato etc etc. 

So, now that we have met, and we're practically friends at this point, I'll tell you my story thus far. I'm your not-so-average young gal; I do not fit the typical, teenage demographic. Coming from someone who always prepares for the worst, I could never anticipate what my journey would become. 

Late April, 2013, I became incredibly ill. I had horrifying headaches, my balance was non-existent, I couldn't see straight, and I couldn't hold anything down. After a month of battling this sickness, going back and forth from the emergency room without a resolution, I finally got diagnosed. Early May, 2013, I received a call... They saw something on my brain. After participating in, what seemed like, endless tests, they determined that I had an inoperable brain tumor wrapped around my brain stem. My oncologist and radiologists were unable to tell if it was cancerous or not because it was too risky to remove or even do a biopsy. One wrong move could possibly sever my life. They decided that the best way to treat me would be six weeks of radiation with the maximum amount of treatment.

So what do you do when you get that kind of news? I found it to be incredibly hard to accept. My life, as I knew it, would never be the same. While other young adults my age spent their summers partying, staying up late, and intoxicating their body with unlawful substances, I spent every morning traveling to Pittsburgh's Children's Hospital. While many people who go to the hospital everyday dress in their pajamas, that was not the case with me. Every day, I wore a different outfit to my treatment. The saying is true "if you look good, you feel good." Fashion became the one thing that made me happy to get up and keep on keep in' on.

Last day of radiation; Although it was a blessing to be finished with my treatment, I missed seeing all of my friends that I have met along the way.

For a long while, I was quite bitter. I constantly wondered what I did to deserve this kind if pain and hardship. Then, as I began to gain relationships with kids at Children's Hospital, I realized why I was there; it had to happen in order for me to grow to be the individual that I am. To me, I felt like the other children that I met, were the only people who didn't see me as "sick". Radiation oncology became my new familiar place. Much like in school, when you recognize faces as you walk about the hallway, you say hello and add a wave or a smile. But it was different here. I knew more than the kid's names; I knew their stories as well. Little did they know, their stories became a tremendous part of mine. I stopped asking God, "why?" Instead, I started to treat everyday as a new opportunity and devote myself to make a difference. 

So, this is my journey journal: when the ill fated times make the fortunate ones that much sweeter, where everyday is a struggle, but tomorrow is a blessing, and when hope can be found in a little something called fashion.

Much love and thanks, 

Francesca